Cure For Pain Read online

  In the past few months both of the girls lives had been a whirlwind of change. Moving to Minneapolis and getting their first jobs would have been enough of an adjustment; but for Mary, what should have been a time for her to be settling into a new routine she had been hit with the news that her mother was suffering from a life-threatening illness. It had been four months: four long, restless months of roller coaster emotions.

  Finally, in an attempt to break the tense silence between them Faith asked, in her best Chris Chambers’ voice, “You wanna be the Lone Ranger or the Cisco Kid?” Mary looked at her and they erupted in nervous giggles.

  “Come on, Chambers, let’s go in.”

  “After you, Lachance.”

  Icy air blasted Mary as she stepped out of the car. She and Faith hurried into Safe Works and looked around curiously. Mary didn’t really know what she had expected to see, but the room before her definitely wasn’t it. The main room was a large open area that looked more like someone’s basement rec room than it did a clinic. The walls were a dreary slate blue. There were a couple of ratty couches and a few mismatched chairs gathered into a conversation area. A bleach blonde sat in one of the chairs, her legs slung over the arm. She was chatting away on a cell phone and threw the girls a dismissive glance before continuing her conversation. Off to the right, towards the back, was an attractive man behind a large desk.

  He rose immediately and walked towards them. His tall, slender frame fit nicely into the tight jeans and flannel shirt he wore. He had somewhat feminine features and as he smiled, a deep dimple appeared in his one cheek.

  “Hello, ladies. You must be Mary.” Mary recognized his warm voice from speaking to him on the phone. He held his hand out towards Faith, not taking his eyes off of her. “I’m Jack.” Faith looked back at him, hesitantly. Mary nudged her arm slightly to remind her of her manners. Faith raised a limp hand and he held it tightly.

  “I’m not Mary. I’m Faith. This is Mary.” She turned towards Mary.

  “Sorry about that, darlin’. Hello, Faith.” His hand lingered on Faith’s before he turned to shake Mary’s.

  “Mary. I spoke with you the other night.” She nodded and he continued. “Our director, Karen, said to expect you around now. She’s in her office but should be out in just a moment.” He motioned towards one of the two light green doors with thick, rippled glass windows near the front desk. “I have a couple things to finish up but you’re welcome to look around or have a seat while you wait for her.”

  The nervous girls moved as a unit towards the desk but didn’t take a seat. They stood there awkwardly as they looked around more. Mary noticed three more green doors on the opposite wall: two restrooms and one that was unmarked. Mary also noticed that Jack was watching Faith, who was busy appraising the furniture in the room. Knowing Faith as she did, Mary could tell that Faith was plotting what she could do with the décor to liven the place up. She jumped when Faith’s purse sang out a happy little pop song.

  Faith looked sheepishly at Mary and pulled out her phone.

  “Ugh, it’s work. I have to take it. I’m on call today.” Faith gave a half-hearted smile and spoke into her phone. “Hi. What’s up?” She sounded a little more cheerful than she usually did when work called. “Oh, that’s too bad.” Her voice registered sarcasm. Mary wondered whose benefit that was for. She suspected it was for hers. “I guess. I will get there as soon as I can.” She tucked the phone back in her purse and turned to Mary.

  “Someone had to go home sick and they need me to come fill in. We can do this…” she motioned around the room, “…some other time. I can take you home before I go in.”

  No matter how convenient that call seemed to be, Mary knew that Faith was on call and wouldn’t prearrange a phone call to get her out of there. The girls would never abandon each other even if they didn’t agree on something. In the past few years, Mary had become Faith’s only family. Even without Faith, Mary wanted to stay and hear about the program. It was a possibility that if she did leave she’d lose the courage to come back.

  “It’s okay, Faith. I’ll just take a cab or something. I want to stay and meet with Karen.”

  Faith sucked in her breath. She scanned the room, her eyes lingering on Jack as he worked. He looked up, smiling at her questioningly. “Hey, umm, you! What time do you close?”

  “Midnight, ma’am.”

  She bit her lip and glanced at Mary again. “How long are you going to be here?”

  “I don’t know, Faith.”

  “She’s welcome to stay as long as she wants.” Jack’s voice broke in before she could say any more. Mary turned to smile at him, but caught Faith’s glare out of the corner of her eye. Mary didn’t understand her friend’s behavior; usually she was much friendlier. This was not like her at all.

  Faith was still looking at Jack but spoke to Mary. “I only have to go in until nine. If you want to stay until then I can come back for you.” She turned to look at her then. “If you leave before then, please text me so I know you’re safe.”

  “I’ll be fine, Faith. Go. I’ll just wait for you.” Mary was a bit worried about being there alone, but she couldn’t let Faith know that or she’d make her leave right then and never let her come back.

  Faith thought about it for a few seconds and huffed, “Fine. See you later then.” She threw Jack one last glare, a cross between warning and intrigue, before hightailing it to the door.

  “That little lady didn’t really want to be here, did she?” Jack commented after the door slammed loudly.

  “Not exactly.”

  He turned and looked at Mary, and she was taken by the startling blue-green of his eyes. “What about you, Mary? Are you sure this is for you?” Jack asked.

  “I don’t know; that’s why I’m here tonight.”

  The office door opened and a petite woman with wavy brown hair stepped out. She was dressed in a crisp charcoal suit with a pink shirt peeking out from the V in her jacket. She had the look of a woman who belonged in an art gallery or shopping at an upscale mall. She didn’t at all fit in with these drab surroundings. She stepped closer and Mary could see her amber eyes sparkle with warmth.

  “Mary. I’m so glad you were able to come.” She extended her hand. Her skin was soft and smooth but she shook with a tight, friendly grasp. “I’m Karen Porter. I’m sure Jack introduced himself.” She glanced around briefly. “You had mentioned bringing your roommate, did she come with you? I thought I heard another voice out here, other than Nikki’s.” She motioned to the blonde girl still talking on her phone.

  “She did, but she was called into work. She’s coming back for me later.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, let’s start with a tour and I’ll go over the program. The goal of a Harms Reduction program is to help those who choose to engage in risky behavior do so as safely as possible. That help comes in many different ways. In addition to handing out safety kits, we also administer health tests and immunizations. We also have a full time counselor on staff.” Karen spread her arms wide as if to display the room. “This is where we meet with clients most often. Our small groups also meet in here.”

  She indicated a cluster of shelves near the main door which held a variety of books and pamphlets, and baskets of what appeared to be condoms. “Here are our reference materials and flyers for upcoming events. We have a newsletter that we put out once a month, too.” She walked over and picked up a pile of stapled yellow papers. “We feature different issues in each one as well as a calendar of community events. We also print submissions from clients: poems, essays, artwork, and other things like that.”

  Karen set the papers back down and stepped towards the young man behind the desk. “Jack here pretty much runs the place. I take care of the administrative stuff, but Jack takes care of the day to day operations.” Jack smiled humbly at Karen but the admiration in his eyes was clear. Mary sensed that Karen was the type of person who always made others feel good. She may have looked like a society darling, but she was d
own to earth and seemed to make those around her comfortable.

  “We always have at least two on staff while the place is open. Jack is here more often than anyone else. He and Lora are our only paid employees. Lora is our clinic counselor and case manager. She works different hours depending on the day. She stays late a couple of nights a week for group sessions. We don’t have any planned tonight so she’s already left for the day.”

  “That’s Nikki over there.” She motioned to the girl on the phone. “She is one of our many volunteers. Jack sets up a schedule with everyone to keep the place staffed. He’s the one to talk to once you decide whether this is something you would like to help with.”

  Mary nodded and followed Karen as she pointed to the closed, dark room beside her office. “This is the exam room. We keep all supplies in there for medical exams. We currently have a few volunteers in the medical field – including my husband, Andy, who is a doctor – who come in and help do things like wound checks and abscess care. They also do STD and pregnancy tests.”

  She motioned to her office door and Mary looked in. The room was cramped with two desks and a large bookcase. It was painted a sunny yellow but most of the wall surfaces were covered with tacked up artwork, flyers and photos. Both desks were very tidy; one held an open laptop and large cup of coffee. Karen walked over to it, took a sip of the coffee and began to pack up the laptop.

  “I share this office with Lora,” Karen explained as she continued to put her things into a leather bag. “Do you have any questions, or anything else I can help you with, Mary?” Her tone was still kind and patient but Mary could see that she was ready to leave for the day.

  “I think I get it.”

  “If you do have any questions, Jack is best person to ask.” Karen turned to smile proudly at Jack before turning back to Mary. “I really do hope you’ll decide to join us here. Have a good night and if there is anything I can help you with, please don’t hesitate to contact me.”

  Karen went to the desk and talked to Jack for a couple of minutes before bidding him goodbye. She waved at Nikki and spoke to Mary, “I do hope you will come back, Mary. I have a feeling that you will fit in well with our little family here.” She smiled kindly before leaving.

  Mary stood between the desk and office; fidgeting uncomfortably as she looked around. Nikki was still on her phone. Mary didn’t want to eavesdrop but the room was fairly quiet and she could hear her clearly above the faint strains of the radio in the corner.

  “I saw that hypocritical bastard, T. J., today. He fucking cut me off on Lake.” She held the phone with one hand and absently twisted a strand of coarse blond hair around the fingers of her other hand. “No, I think he was delivering pizza again. As if that’s really how he makes money. I just don’t…”

  “So, Mary where are you from?” She jumped when Jack spoke. He pulled a worn but comfortable chair over to the desk and motioned her towards it.

  “Quarry Springs. It’s a tiny little town south west from here.”

  “Did ya’ll move to the Cities for college?” Mary liked his southern drawl, it was very charming.

  “No. Faith and I actually went to college in South Dakota. After we graduated, Faith found her Ask-A-Nurse job here through another friend. I figured there had to be a teaching job somewhere in an area as large as the Twin Cities. I moved along with her and found a great job at East Side Alternative School.”

  “How do ya’ll like living in the big city?”

  “It’s great. There is always something to do. Traffic sometimes is a problem. The town we grew up in had one traffic light; even the town our college was in wasn’t all that big. That’s been our biggest adjustment. I pretty much always have to use the GPS wherever I go. What about you? I can tell from the accent that you’re not a native Minnesotan.”

  “Nope, I’m originally from the great state of Texas.”

  “Wow, that’s quite a ways from home. How did you end up here?”

  “I came up with my girlfriend.”

  “Does she volunteer here too?”

  “No, she passed away.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Mary shifted a little uncomfortably. She didn’t really know how to reply to that.

  “It’s okay; it’s been a few years now.”

  There was a small lag in the conversation until Jack spoke up again. “So what brought you to Safe Works?”

  Mary shrugged, “I saw a flyer for it and thought it was a worthy place to volunteer.” She wasn’t ready yet to speak about her mother’s illness and her own inability to help her mother.

  “It is. As Karen said, we help serve many different needs people have. Harms Reduction Clinics often get a bad rap. People often think we’re only about giving drug addicts needles. We do so much more than that. Lora’s group sessions range from support groups for sex workers, many who are trying to leave the life, to groups for family members struggling with a loved one’s addiction or harmful life style.”

  “So the groups are like AA or NA?” Mary knew a little about Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous but never gave them much thought.

  “They are very similar. One of the groups is for people with loved ones in gangs. It’s mostly moms but there are a few dads and siblings that occasionally come.”

  This was a whole new world to Mary. She caught herself questioning if this was a place she really could help. She didn’t know anything about sex workers or what it was like to have a family member in a gang. What difference could she possibly make? She had been confident in her teaching abilities when she started her job at the alternative school she taught at, even though her students lived in a much different world than the one she grew up in. This was a whole other level than that. At school she was there to teach them things like grammar, sentence structure, and how to write reports and do research projects. Those were things she knew front and back. What did she know about helping a prostitute?

  “I know that look. Don’t worry, you won’t do much with those groups unless you want to. Most of our volunteers man the desk, answer phone calls, and hand out material to drop-ins.” Jack smiled reassuringly at her.

  “It’s just a little foreign to me.”

  The bell on the door jingled and Jack excused himself before greeting the young man who walked in. Mary watched as Jack offered him coffee and talked with him as if they were friends. Jack was warm, friendly, and attentive. Jack went to a filing cabinet and took out a clear bag of what Mary assumed to be needles and handed it to the guy. They said their goodbyes and Jack came back and stood next to the desk.

  “So how do we know what a person is in for? I didn’t hear him tell you or you ask him.”

  “Ethan stops by regularly to pick up a kit. You’ll get to know most of the regulars and what they stop in for. Not everyone comes for the kits; some come in to pick up condoms or ask questions.”

  “How are you legally able to hand stuff out to them?”

  “We’re considered a public advocacy group. We’re not federally or state funded but we work with groups that are. Basically, we are considered to be in the health care service, and just like doctors, we are not required to notify authorities about illegal activity. As far as the safe kits we hand out, everything in them is legal to possess.”

  “What’s in the kits?”

  He led her over to a filing cabinet which he unlocked before pulling out a zipper lock bag containing sterilized syringes, alcohol pads, a rubber tourniquet, cotton balls, a small bottle of water and a small metal spoon-like cup.

  She must have looked confused because he asked her just how much experience she had with heroin. Mary shook her head and shrugged, and he asked if she even knew what it looked like.

  “Okay you’re a complete heroin virgin then.” Jack smiled assuringly as he locked up the cupboard.

  As they walked back to the desk, Mary blushed and felt silly for being there when she didn’t even know the first thing about what she would be dealing with.

  Jack continu
ed. “Heroin often comes in two forms. There’s powder which is kind of like baby powder. There is also Mexican Tar which is a small, sticky, black ball that looks kind of like a tootsie roll.” She watched his hand gestures as he explained everything. “It’s most often dissolved in water and then injected. You can also chase the dragon, or smoke it.”

  “Why would someone inject it if they could smoke it?” She hadn’t known it could be smoked, and didn’t understand why someone would willingly stick themselves with a needle.

  “It works better and faster when you shoot it.” Jack looked down at the ground. “But heroin isn’t the only reason people get kits here; there are other drugs people use them for.” She started to ask him about it when an older man wandered in.

  He looked like the old guys you see hanging out in alleys on cop shows. He wore an old ratty jacket and a small navy stocking cap. His face was weathered and he had a thick salt and pepper beard. He was muttering to himself as he came in the door.

  Jack called out a greeting to him and stood up.

  “This is Art. He’s a regular around here.” Jack tossed her the keys. “Do you want to get him a kit? It’s the small silver key.” He walked over to Art and asked him how he was.

  They chatted together as Mary fumbled around trying to get the key to turn. She opened the drawer, plucked out a bag, and locked the cabinet back up. Jack and Art were standing near the coffee pot. As she crossed the room to them, Art stared at her so intently that it started to creep her out. She held the bag out to him and tried to give him a reassuring smile. She didn’t know why he kept looking at her like that but it made her very uncomfortable.

  Finally, he reached out and took the bag. “Beautiful. Just like an angel.” There was a sense of reverence in his voice.

  “Thank you.” Mary shifted from foot to foot, not really knowing how to respond. There was an awkward silence and she smiled before going back to the safety of the desk.

  She knew she’d have to get over her fear and awkwardness if she planned to be here regularly. From what she had seen so far, it didn’t seem that bad. The young man was quite polite. Nikki seemed okay, just indifferent. Then there was Art, who continued to stare at her as she sat down on the comfy chair. He thanked her and wished her a good night. After he left, Jack walked over to the window and watched Art walk away. She heard him mumble something about the poor bastard being out in the cold. She wondered if Art was homeless.